When I was younger I went to a lot of weddings as my straight friends were getting hitched (for the first time ). I was also a groomsman quite a few times, so when the dancing began I usually had a partner, or at least a female that I had never met before the rehearsal and had attempted to talk to for four hours. I remember one of my cousins weddings where my partner was a least a foot taller than me and quickly informed me that she was used to leading.
My partner and I started going to wedding together about 30 years ago. For a long time it never occured to me that it might befun to dance with him. Of course back then we were both fielding those awkward questions like " So when are YOU TWO going to find some nice girls and get married?".
Fast forward about 25 years and we both began to rely on Miss Manners advise on how we should respond to a question like that. Her suggested reply is " Why do you ask?". That shuts 'em up.
When it's time for the near death battle over the tossed garter as all the SINGLE guys thrash about the dance floor, my partner and I have already either gone to the restroom or back to the bar.
There are moments however when a really nice song like " The First Time" lures many of the romantic couples to the dancefloor that I feel a very visceral and tempting urge to dance with the person whom I've chosen to live my life with. My thoughts then seem to turn towards everyone else...that I don't want to make them uncomfortable, or ruin anything for the happy newlyweds....so we either dance with any available female, or more often just sit...resigned...mad at ourselves for being still somehow ashamed of who we are...and feeling like cowards. Coming out of the closet is an ongoing process....and maybe when we finally move beyond the Chicken Dance we'll actually begin to change the world....or at least ours.
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