ONE " TRADITIONAL" MESS OF A MARRAIGE

With all the incessant chatter about TRADITIONAL marriage, and warnings from so many religions that gay marriage will erode and destroy the very fabric of society, I sure had a few eye openers in the last few weeks. While my partner and I exchanged Christmas cards, party invitations, fruitcakes, and year round graciousness with most of the neighbors on the street, one fairly new TRADITIONAL family moved in. They were of course blessed and encouraged at a huge socially approved and sanctioned wedding, got right to the Santorumness of having their first two children, and launched almost immediately into screaming battles that shook the potted palms on our gentile front veranda all summer long.

The Mrs. seems to have the sharpest tongue...(another single guy on the block thinks she must have gotten her degree in Emasculization )....she can cut him to the core, while he seems mostly in the self protection mode. The kids are about 2 and 8 maybe, and when Woof and I take our nightly stroll, we always see two TV's on....one upstairs and one downstairs, and Woof puts her ears back many a night as a few howls emerge from the above mentioned TRADITIONAL homestead.

Now comes the payoff. Last year the Mr. went all out decorating for Christmas....lights like the Griswalds all over the house...lit up for about a week early in December, then turned off..never to flash again all through the holidays because they had a bigger fight than usual. Now this year, just before we gay guys were about to gather our eighteen relatives to the dinner table, my good buddy went out to the front porch and saw Mr. TRADITIONAL neighbor drag the Christmas TREE out the front door and toss it into the yard. Now mind you, this was Christmas Day....of course they were arguing, and while I could care less about the two of them, what about those two little kids? Talk about a memory that will probably never cease to torture them, I wish they'd just get a damn divorce and spare the kids the trauma of their lives with these two.

Somehow....my endless struggle for equal rights to marriage for gay people has become even more determined. I would imagine that most people would rather have my partner and I for neighbors, and that the kids across the street just might have been better off with two Dads.

CATHOLIC STUFF ABOUT MUSIC

I love the music of the Catholic church. I keep a little card on which I wrote the date when I sang my first Mass in Saint Margaret's church. I was in the fourth grade, and at that time the boy's choir sang every morning. We sang Latin Masses from a little book called the "Kyriale". The Mass parts were ancient, with a vast amount of Gregorian melodies and difficult notes, including the Requiem Mass for the dead. We sang that the most, and were frequently called out of class to sing a funeral Mass, which included the"Dies Irae"and the "In Paradisum". I still remember almost all of the words and music from those days.

After Vatican Two, Most of the Latin disappeared, and the English translations and melodies weren't particularly melodic or true to the texts. When "Pange Lingua" was translated into "Praise we Christ's Immortal Body", the gorgeous Latin text by Thomas Aquinas really suffered....and by then I'd had it. I'd been playing the organ in churches since I was thirteen, and had come to really hate the "New" music. Benediction became a much less solemn liturgy, as "O Salutaris" and "Tantum Ergo" bit the dust, and we were actually singing Kumbya with a guitar while the mighty pipe organ was in the OFF position. I gave up my organist gig which was always just a second job anyway, and stopped singing at Mass.

About fifteen years ago I attended a funeral Mass for a young friend, stopped up in the loft to say hello to a friend, and ended up singing with two other guys for the funeral, and we sounded pretty good. We were all at another funeral about a month later, same friends, and a few other people we knew, and of course we decided then and there that we were a men's choir. The rest is history.

We had a friend who played every Sunday downtown at the grand old Epiphany Church with superb acoustics and we began a monthly rehearsal at one of our member's homes, drank some wine while we practiced, ordered pizza, and the 15 of us started doing some Mozart and Franck etc, and we were welcomed by the church and now sing about once a month. Since I'm usually the "spark plug" that gets us together, I get to pick the music. On Holy Thursday we wear our cassocks and surplices and process through that majestic space singing the Pange Lingua. There is indeed some good music being written in this modern world, and we do a lot of it. We've discovered a lot of dusty old music for men's choirs hidden away in the dusty lofts, and it gets a new airing with the guys voices.

On January 8th this year, the church celebrates the feast of the Epiphany, and it's a big day at the church of the Epiphany. We'll shake the rafters with a rousing " We Three Kings" for starters. Our Mass is always on a Sunday at 5:00. So the moral of the story is...if you're unhappy about a situation like the music in the church of your cultural history, go somewhere else and start a choir ! Worked for me. I love the music again!

THE " O " WORD

This Christmas I made a vow to gather people to fight the " O " word. That means any store that advertises being " OPEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE " or " OPEN ALL DAY ON CHRISTMAS". One young guy missed his Christmas dinner last night because CVS was open until 8:00 last night. Another friend's son had to work on Christmas Eve until the store closed at 9:00. Next year I say we picket those greedy merchants that start to advertise their " O " hours that ruin so many family traditions. Join me?

DEAR MR MICHELLE BACHMANN

Dear Mr Michele Bachman

You wife has made it quite clear that should she be elected president of the United Sates in 2012, she would always be submissive to you, Mr first gentleman. I read where you recently told an Iowa gathering that you have "decided (your) cause is going to be what Michele and I have been a part of our whole lives, and that is pro marriage, pro family, and pro life...We're going to get the message across that marriage is between one man and one woman...We're not going to minimize what a family is---we're going to promote families." As Bette Davis would say " How nice for you....how nice for everybody."

Your plan seems a bit late. There are all kinds of families these days, and in spite of the fact that these just seem to somehow get under your skin, the majority of Americans think that gay couples who are raising children are also families. ( Pew Research 2010).

As a member of the mental health service for a long time, I have some serious concerns about you Marcus.

Your clinic where you offer counseling to people who would like to change their sexuality from homosexual to heterosexual is a dangerous situation. I think I'm very confident in my ability to help people find their true identity, and to integrate their many dimensions, and hopefully become self actualizing members of the humane race. I would never attempt to make a straight man or woman gay, nor would I even consider such a ludicrous and destructive method of treatment.

You and your wife have an unusual interest in homosexuality. Perhaps you and your 27 children and I ought to arrange for some family therapy. I'd be happy to help all 29 of you find out and embrace just who you really are. In the meantime, I might suggest that you tone down the public statements that are so offensive and potentially damaging to a considerable number of your fellow Americans and their children.

Michelle Bachman's VOICE

Everybody knows that not so nice expression " shut your trap "....which I dislike almost as much as I dislike" Shut your cakehole". I never use either one of those expressions and don't like it when anyone else uses them either. I had an elderly aunt who was very much a lady, but also used some expressions that I always kind liked. Anyone who talked too much (in her opinion) she'd call a "TRAP". So she might hear someone going on and on about something, and she'd say "who's that TRAP?". She might also say "well the husband is very nice but the husband is kind of a TRAP". I caught a little bit of Michelle Bachmann on MEET THE PRESS on Sunday, and decided that she indeed qualifies as a TRAP.

Maybe it's her monotone...or the way she just plows through other peoples audible space, but I actually held my ears at one point when she refused to let David Gregory get a word in. She looked like a bully, and I was amazed that David didn't claim his turf...it IS his show after all.

It's no secret that I really don't want this woman to have any more power than she does. Her self righteous religious hatred of equal rights for gay people makes me sick, and her lack on accuracy on historical facts is astonishing. Her big gay closeted husband and her 27 children aside, she drives me crazy when she opens her.....mouth. I hate how all of the politicians take every opportunity to keep talking and talking without taking a breath every time they're asked a question, but Ms Bachmann just fits so neatly into what my beloved aunt would have called a whole pack of TRAPS.

Besides making my head spin when she talks about her ideas on the right to life for embryos while she's frothing at the mouth with Ricky S to start a war with Iran, the woman's voice just makes me....makes me...remember my Aunt.

LIGHTING MR SANTORUM'S FUSE !

Man..if you want to see Rick Santorum spring into action...mention anything GAY and he lights up like an LED Christmas tree. As you know, for some odd wiring in my brain, I tune in to every GOP debate and last night's from Iowa was blaring in the background even while I was crazy busy getting ready for our big annual bash on Saturday. At one point one of the FOX moderators mentioned that they'd be moving on to "controversial social issues" soon, so of course I had to stop trying to untangle a set of lights and pour a glass of wine in anticipation. When the issue of gay marriage came up Romney didn't sound like he had really strong concern about the issue, though he did drag out the old war horse words of "sanctity" and one man one woman etc. By this point Ricky looked like he was ready to wet his pants waiting for his chance to scream about what seems to be the most threatening and terrifying issue in his life. He was typically enraged when he accused Romney as even GRANTING some of those marriages as governor. There is just no other issue..even abortion...that Rick Santorum is more wildly fighting against.

I think he said last night that he went to over 300 town meetings in Iowa. Now, if any normal person went to that many gatherings and the result was that the person was still getting the lowest ratings in his "group" because of his ideas, wouldn't some kinda light bulb go of for them....like say..."people don't seem to agree with me or like me" ???

I've been working in the mental health field for a long time, and my general PERSONAL sense about someone who talks about an unwanted advance from another person is a common experience for a lot of people. Maybe it's just a comment, or a glance, or even just a feeling. I've often explored that stuff with clients, and kicked it around with them. Usually it resolves, fades away, gets immediately dealt with...and the person moves on. But now and then someone will be unable to move away from it, becomes obsessed with it...and I might eventually say something like " maybe there is something about this glance, or this comment that fascinates you, or I wonder if part of you might be intrigued....or maybe you kinda liked what happened..." Maybe.

Now Rick has made some comments that he's always dying to get back to...saying he'll "die" fighting gay marriage...or having people thing being gay is "normal". It's his issue that he rails and rages against constantly...even during a debate...he can't WAIT to get to the word GAY.

I'm just sayin...............................................................................................RNM44andWoof

NEWT !

 Oh my God...how could I forget the frontrunner?  I guess I just somehow magically dismissed him. Maybe it's because so many people inhis own party REALLY don't like him....or because all the right wing evangelists will probably forgive him...( so many of them have needed a great DEAL of forgiveness), or maybe it's because I just don't generally like men like him.  He seems like a bully,  and anyway....I forgot all about him

Why I don't like the GOP candidates.

   Where should I begin....maybe with the candidate that Ilike least...Old Ricky Santorum of course.  From the looks of most of the polls, nobody else likes him very much either. What's he got now..maybe 3% or so?  This man is so homophobic and discriminatory that he's hardly worth talking about. Several years ago he made his now infamous statements comparing homosexuality with beastiality.  He has said that he'll go to his grave fighting against gay marriage.  From what I read, no one in Washington ever liked him very much when he was still a senator. That self righteous air about him is just as disgusting as his record.
  Michelle Bachman turned me off a good while ago with her lack of fact speeches, and her questioning of the patriotism of her fellow congressmen and women.  She has about 35 kids that she's raised, all undoubtably influenced by her husband Marcus who runs a gay changing agency.  Watching him dance around like a three hundred pound butterfly does makeone wonder what his true nature is.  Michelle would set women's rights andgay rights back about a hundred years.
  I think Rick Perry is not a real smart kinda guy.  He looks tired and stupid most of the time...except when he looked crocked during a let your hair down speech.  His recent anti gay ads that also must be offensive to lots of military folks nailed his coffin for me.
  Romney isn't moving up in the polls for only one reason....people don't like him.  I have to admit that I've never liked him since the incident where he traveled with his dog in its cage on the top of his car.
Now I have more reasons to dislike him...anti gay...offensive with his wealth etc.
  Herman was interesting...I liked his ideas about tax reform, but he wan't really quite as honest as I'd like to see in a president.
  Ron Paul makes a lot of sense.  I guess he might be a little too radical, but I like a whole lot of what he says about ending our world policeman mentality, and how he sees most wars as unnecessary.
 So who am I forgeting?  I guess thats the pack right now.  If I had to vote for anyone of them I'd have to be waterboarded first.

RICKY SANTORUM'S ONGOING HISSY FIT

Poor Rick is still fretting over the gay issue. This week in Iowa he was on his curious rant once again..about that damn gay marriage stuff. He seemed particularly frightened about homosexual people possibly being seen as "equal" to heterosexual people. When a student challenged him, he expressed his big fear that schools would begin to teach that gay people were just like straight people. Oh My God.

What is it with this guy? He seems so far out of the loop with even the craziest of the crazy these days. Rick feels that gay marriage will cause America to "fall".....huh? Lots of gay people are getting legally married these days, and that doesn't seem to be affecting anything except for boosting self esteem, granting equal rights, and encouraging mental health.

I guess Ricky lost me when he compared homosexuality with bestiality. That was a doozy. I know Mr S. would repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell...another gem of nonsense from this strangely bigoted man, but I really do wonder what it is about gay folks that is so threatening to Rick. What will he do if one of his kids is gay?...oh wait, I think I know. He'd send him or her to Michelle Bachmann's husband's clinic where they pray the gay away....or from the images I've seen of Mr Bachmann they might return as drag queens or televangelists.

Carnegie's new 7 million dollar worship site.

When I was growing up in Greentree and Carnegie, there were quite a few Catholic churches. I played the organ all through High School at Saint Joseph's...an old German parish with the school on the first floor, and the church on the second. It had the big white Gothic altars, beautiful stained glass, great old pipe organ...they tore it down about 15 years ago. Holy Souls was Italian, and I remember watching them light the hundreds of red vigil candles that surrounded the windows on Christmas Eve...they tore it down about 25 years ago and built a modern church on the site then closed it a few years ago after the flood in Carnegie.

Saint Lukes was Irish I think, a pretty old church that was "remodeled" in the sixties, and became an unusually ugly "worship site". It sustained a major damage in the flood and was closed. Immaculate Conception was a relatively modern building also, and it eventually just seemed to disappear and closed.

That left Carnegie with Saint Ignatius...actually a pretty church with lots of statues and beautiful stained glass. They're closing it now.

The new church is actually the old St Luke's building, but the project involved making the front of the church the back and the back the front. Big..strange..switch a roo. The project cost around seven million dollars. The new space isn't ugly. It's not one of those spaces that you walk into and sense a Sacred Place. Its bright, clean, carpeted ( bad for music ) and plain.

I'm a real snob when it comes to churches. I love those places where something seems to happen when you first walk in the door. I like to light a candle for my deceased loved ones, see the light through the stained glass, and be inspired by the statues of those familiar saints. I can appreciate nice meeting halls and auditoriums, but I loved the "uncommon" experience of going to church....those gorgeous places where the sights and the sounds and even the language was "uncommon". I've gotten accustomed to pianos and nice comfy seats and good sound systems, but I can get that in a lecture hall. I miss so much in these new "worship sites" with new names and new changes.

I wish they'd have asked me to design a seven million dollar CHURCH. sigh

From DOM SCUDERA

My gay, homosexual, male lover and I collapse from the weariness of the gay lifestyle we have been living today. All of this subversive loving, volunteering, working, eating, playing and socializing is exhausting. Some say the gay lifestyle is self-enslavement, but we just cannot think about that now. Before we fall asleep, we each take out our personal, leather-bound copies of The Gay Agenda. The Gay Agenda is our Bible. We do not look at the real Bible because we are gay and therefore have no religion or morality. We read and strategize how we can best destroy American society tomorrow. Sharing a good, hardy, gay laugh, we each fall into a sound, gay sleep.  (check out his blog for more! )
                                                                                                                                 RNM44

WOOF AND ME

I can get pretty worked up over a lot of different things. Just this week an old friend was making me crazy on Facebook with her below the belt comments about Obama...( she still thinks he's a Muslim from Kenya). As much as I know I ought to just UNFRIEND her as they say, I still want to be able to fight back. Somehow after one of those bouts I'll switch TV on and catch a SIXTY MINUTES segment that makes me either cry or jump through the set. I read the Local section of the Post Gazette in the morning and usually find some Letter to the Editor that gives me instant heartburn.....and then head out to the back porch where all is right with the world. That's where Woof is waiting to instantly make anything and everything better.

Woof is actually Woof the sixth.....I've had a fawn female boxer since I was in first grade...all named Woof. I heard a psychologist advising dog owners never to do what I did with a dog's name, but now they all just blur together. I always think the current one is the best ever. This one really is.

I live in a big old...OLD...Victorian house with a grand wrap around front porch with a swing and lots of very nice wicker furniture, but Woof and I prefer the back porch cement stoop. We sit there almost every day..even when it's cold.....much longer when the sun is out. She's anxious to check out the back yard when I first let her out in the morning while I make coffee, then we get into position, and it all makes sense. I often sit there with her and think "THIS is what it's all about". Perfect peace...no worries about getting anything done or going anywhere or even having to think. Just me and Woof...sometimes I guess we both think about things while we sit there...but lots of times we just sit there.

Gay Guys and Weddings

  When I was younger I went to a lot of weddings as my straight friends were getting hitched (for the first time ).  I was also a groomsman quite a few times, so when the dancing began I usually had a partner, or at least a female that I had never met before the rehearsal and had attempted to talk to for four hours.  I remember one of my cousins weddings where my partner was a least a foot taller than me and quickly informed  me that she was used to leading.
  My partner and I started going to wedding together about 30 years ago.  For a long time it never occured to me that it might befun to dance with him.  Of course back then we were both fielding those awkward questions like " So when are YOU TWO going to find some nice girls and get married?". 
Fast forward about 25 years and we both began to rely on Miss Manners advise on how we should respond to a question like that.  Her suggested reply is " Why do you ask?".  That shuts 'em up.
  When it's time for the near death battle over the tossed garter as all the SINGLE guys thrash about the dance floor, my partner and I have already either gone to the restroom or back to the bar.
 There are moments however when a really nice song like " The First Time" lures many of the romantic couples to the dancefloor that I feel a very visceral and tempting urge to dance with the person whom I've chosen to live my life with.  My thoughts then seem to turn towards everyone else...that I don't want to make them uncomfortable, or ruin anything for the happy newlyweds....so we either dance with any available female, or more often just sit...resigned...mad at ourselves for being still somehow ashamed of who we are...and feeling like cowards.  Coming out of the closet is an ongoing process....and maybe when we finally move beyond the Chicken Dance we'll actually begin to change the world....or at least ours.