CONVERSATIONS OVER FRENCH CUISINE

I've always noticed couples in restaurants...doesn't matter if it's Burger King or a five star joint in a big city. I like to watch the interactions out of the corner of my eye. Early on in my own relationship when I was just getting to know my old shoe of a partner, we were at a nice restaurant chatting away about all the things he was going to have to do and change about himself if he expected to even be considered as someone I might look at twice...(just kidding..sorta), when I took notice of another couple, about our same ages who hadn't said a word to one another since they were first seated at the table. They were both nice looking...of course not nearly as spectacular as my future mate and I, but they just didn't talk to one another all through the evening. I've seen that many many times in the past, and of course there are a million and one possible explanations for what was going on....the most frightening one being that they just don't have anything to say. WAY back then, I remember saying that if we ever got to that point we should make plans to find someone else...move on. So far so good...thirty years later and we're still chatting.

We had dinner at a really lovely French restaurant near Chatauqua on Saturday with two wonderful visiting friends from DC....pristine surroundings, exquisite service and food...one of those summer memories in the making. We were at an outside table on the Victorian wrap-around porch, and I noticed an elderly couple...maybe early eighties, having an absolutely delightful time together...laughing, talking, completely focused on one another, respectful and courteous to the staff. and sipping on white wine. I had the best view of them, and when I commented on the two of them, our friend Julie said that she'd noticed them as well. I went into my above dissertation about couples who dine in silence .As they were leaving and we were debating on another bottle of wine, my partner commented on her beautiful white dress (gay guys do stuff like that)..and they stopped for a moment at our table.

One of us said that they seemed to be having such a nice time together, and arm in arm they announced that it was their 54th wedding anniversary. We had a charming two minute conversation about them taking their thirteen year old granddaughter on an upcoming African safari, and when we wished them well and offered to buy them an after dinner drink, I asked what their secret was. The lady quickly said with a laugh and a tug on her husband's arm, "tolerance".

They laughed, we pondered, and off they went to spend the rest of the summer surrounded by music, art, dance, and inspiration at their summer home by the lake at Chatauqua . Fifty four years together...and still talking, and laughing, and thoroughly enjoying life...together.