TRADITIONAL MARRIAGES

This coming Sunday my church will celebrate World Marriage Day. In the past, the priest at our church has asked all married couples to stand for a special blessing, followed by all married people who were in the church without their spouses for a similar blessing. If you didn't qualify for either group, you were to remain seated....blessing-less. One of my friends said he felt like the message was.." and the rest of you can go to hell." (borrowing a phrase from Bishop Zubic).

Some churches will ask married couples to stand on Sunday and renew their wedding vows. The more militant side of me is considering standing up with my partner and getting married in the Catholic church...well kinda getting married.

Actually, I've decided that we ought to model ourselves after a "Traditional" marriage. I was thinking of course of famous traditional marriages like Mr Newt's. I like the idea of an escape clause should my partner get sick....out with the old and in with the new. I might not have the heart to tell him it's over while he's in the hospital...but that's what Newt did, and made it a tradition. I might also start sneaking into churches during choir rehearsals while I troll for a new boyfriend. (worked for Newt at the Basilica).

Mr Mitt might also be a good model for a traditional marriage...but drinking milk instead of red wine wouldn't be good for my heart. His great grandfather had five wives I think...and the founder of his religion had about 45...now that's kind of appealing..in a traditional kinda way.

Mr Rick wouldn't want us to use him as a model. He would just be TOO uncomfortable with that. He said recently that military personnel are uncomfortable with gay soldiers near them. (never mind their focus on not getting their heads blown off). He's very busy preparing to have his own traditional marriage mysteriously destroyed by the gay couple next door who are about to tie the knot.

I know we shouldn't look to Hollywood...or to the sports world for model relationships, nor to politicians...

( I forgot about Herman ). Maybe we ought to shelve the whole idea, and just ponder how it is that in the words of Pope Benedict..."Gay marriage and terrorism are the biggest threats to modern society". HUH ?

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

As Sunday evening rolled around, Woof decided to retire early...having had a very busy weekend...and eating an entire plate of cheese, crackers, and pepperoni when I left her unsupervised for about ten seconds. The rest of the household was glued to DOWNTON ABBEY on PBS. I missed the very first episode and thus was told "shh" every few minutes as I tried to figure out who was who. For some reason or other, my partner and I were expecting a Sherlock Holmes episode to follow, but we were both surprised when the next program was called " The Grove".....which is a little known National AIDS memorial in San Francisco. It was an interesting piece about how and why the memorial came to be, as well as the efforts to make it more familiar to people as a destination, and possibly erect a more "trumpeting" architectural statement.

The program got me to thinking about AIDS again....on how the epidemic wiped out a whole generation. There were so many artists and dancers and creative people who died right along with thousands of ordinary young people, and countless souls in underdeveloped countries. During the worst days of the disease I facilitated support groups for people with AIDS as well as groups for their families. Those were difficult times..filled with so much pain and loss for so many people. I probably had a dozen friends die from that awful disease, and remember crying the first time I saw the AIDS QUILT displayed in Washington...it was so enormous...and so personal, and the ages of the victims were so heartbreaking.

One of my very closest friends lived in LA. He was young and handsome and my whole family loved him. He got sick as did almost all of his friends, and three of us who originally met him in college went to see him for what we all knew would be the last time. I remember standing with him on the sidewalk in the warm California sun,,,,saying goodbye. When he'd come to visit me, I'd often come home from work and find him sitting on the cement bench in my garden....drinking a can of Coors. His ashes are there now, and sometimes on a sunny day I sit up there with a beer...my arm around Woof....and remember.

SISTER MARY ALBERTA C.D.P. PART TWO

Thus the die was cast, with my silent cousin sitting at his desk...frozen in time...(actually his classroom was originally used as a storage room...underground except for three small windows near the ceiling ). It was a perfect backdrop for Sister Evarista, a place off to itself where she could rule with her huge iron fist, and it was also directly underneath Sister Alberta's room where my fate would soon be decided.

We prayed a lot in Catholic school. Once when we arrived, before and after recess, before and after lunch, and before we were dismissed. One of the first proclamations made was that we would begin to pray for the one among us who would be first to die. On that cheery note, Sister Alberta told us in her most solemn tone that the most important thing for us to do was to have a notebook ready at all times. This would be used to record important thoughts that she would impart to us at various times during the day, Now we might be in the middle of singing "Sweet Betsy from Pike" while Sister strummed the Autoharp, when she would say..."Take out your notebooks....write this down.." In a trance like state she once said..." When a nun dies...her feet look like wax". With that, we'd continue singing, most of us,,,but some of us would laugh.

Therein was the core of a catastrophic situation. I had unfortunately made a shady impression on Sister Alberta before I had even stepped into the classroom and it was downhill from then on.

I left seventh grade with the Sally Field-like Sister Marie Elise, whom I loved, appointing me the captain of the Patrol Boys for the upcoming year. Very early into the first week of school, Sister Alberta said "get out your notebooks and write this down......We'll SEE about the captain." Fortunately for me sometimes Sister had bigger fish to fry. Jane Burd sat near the front of the classroom, and her asthma would act up when she laughed...and while a lot of us would be getting little cracks with Sisters ruler..(just little reminders),,,Jane would start to wheeze. Sister Alberta would then spin around and say.." Who's that hissing like a serpent?"

Jane would then simply hold her breath and turn red until Sister relented.

Another little wisp of a boy quickly became indispensable to Sister Alberta. Donald Witfeld weighed about 90 pounds and was absolutely terrified of Sister. She relegated the task of opening and closing the classroom door to Donald...sat him in the first row, and kept him incredibly busy opening and closing the door. Both Sister Alberta and Sister Evarista were very big nuns...in full habit of course, and consequently always hot. Out of the blue Sister would bellow " OPEN THE DOOR WITFELD ! " and Donald would leap to his feet....perhaps three minutes later... " CLOSE THE DOOR WITFELD ! " This went on constantly, Donald Witfeld was on duty and very busy from 8 until 3.

With barely a week under our belts, the first real disaster struck. Paul Shennos gave a correct answer about Saint Lucy's eyeballs being gouged out ( Sister loved tales like that ) and we were all told to applaud. So thirty-nine of us clapped..and someone booed. Sister Alberta threw her LIVES OF THE SAINTS onto her desk and demanded that the booer identify themselves at once. You could have heard a pin drop...but nary a sound from anyone. We were quickly herded into a long line...marched one by one up to the front of the classroom where we stood  and pronounced the following oath. " I CAN LOOK AT THE CRUCIFIX SISTER AND SAY I DID NOT BOO". ( math, geography, history be damned...this was more important). After Carol Krane took her last much anticipated oath (negative), the gauntlet was thrown and Sister Mary Alberta declared war on this pack of incorrigible thirteen year old liars. Guess who emerged as the God -mocking leader of the opposition....? PART THE THIRD NEXT THURSDAY. AMEN

SISTER MARY ALBERTA C.D.P. PART ONE

My cousin and I have spent our whole lives together, sometimes living in the same house, and otherwise in touch with one another every few days. Our Dads both went to war, and our Mother's lived together during those years, and we've always been like a big extended family. Cousin and I both attended Catholic grade school...he being 3 years younger than me, but never more than a few classrooms away. One summer, he announced the discovery that we could determine early in the summer what the following year might bring by scrutinizing the church bulletin when they listed the nun's assignments for the next school year. He would then announce that simply knowing a name would be a foolproof prediction. For example. Sister Mary Celine, or Sister Marie Elise, or Sister Mary Laura, would absolutely guarantee a lovely experience for you come September. Hence we were horrified one hot Sunday in July to see the following names listed for our respective classrooms come Fall. The new principal was Sister Eusebia, his nun was Sister Evarista, and mine...8th grade,,,was Sister Alberta. I still remember him looking at me and saying "we're sunk".

After a horrible summer..(we took our educational surroundings very seriously) we walked to school together the day after Labor Day, and knew immediately upon arrival that our theory indeed held water. One look at the principal made us both shudder, and since his classroom was closest, It was like dead man walking as we made our way for our first glimpse of Sister Evarista. My cousin all but sunk to his knees when she greeted him in the doorway. Sister Evarista was a very large woman...mid sixties maybe...with a face that my partner would describe as "unfortunate". Sister had the most un welcoming demeanor that I truly believe I have ever seen. There were two mothers within earshot that awful morning, and I remember hearing one of them say " my God, she looks like a lady wrestler. My cousin and I exchanged glances as people might do right after the chaplain completed the Lord's Prayer and your final meal was eaten. There was a change in my cousin from that moment on. He would later tell me that he never said one word in that classroom

unless Sister Evarista roared one directly at him. He says he never asked to go to the bathroom, or be excused if he was feeling sick..nor did he ever raise his hand. For the next nine and a half months he was a bundle of nerves and quiet as a mouse until Friday night. By the time the clock ticked on Sixty Minutes every Sunday night, he'd already begun to clam up.

My fate awaited me right around the corner. Compared to my cousin who was thrown into a lions den, I was about to enter into an absolutely surreal world of madness with a nun who was beginning her FIFTY-FIFTH year of teaching. I left my cousin to his fate, approached my own classroom, and as I did so I saw my classmates lining up like Russian soldiers against the wall, and started up the lineup to stand near my best friend. No sooner had I nodded hello to him when a horrendously loud voice rumbled down the hall " Who's that jockeying for position ? !!!!!" Thus begins a tale all too terrifying and life altering to begin without a grace period. I had not even stepped foot into my eighth grade classroom, and I was already on Sister Alberta's list of potential troublemakers. Little did I know that it wouldn't be more than a few days until an extra prayer would be recited by the entire classroom...once a day...for "the boy who mocks God".

OPTIMISM, WET BLANKETS, AND SEALS

Sometimes I get scared about patriotism. When the chants of "USA USA ! " reach a certain decibel level and the crowd seems to become a mob, it starts to remind me of other countries where the throngs often riot and start burning cars and buildings. A friend of mine gave me a bumper sticker a few years ago that replaced "God Bless America" with " God Bless the World". That gets into the John Lennon theme about imagining a more united world...where we'll are God's creatures, and none of us is an island.

However, I often get tears in my eyes when I hear the National Anthem...(performed well...as it was by the military chorus at last week's debate)...or when an American wins the gold at the Olympics. ( Of course the men's diving winners grab by attention in a special way). Coming back to the US from overseas has always given me a rush as well....I do love my country.

Last night's State of the Union speech really moved me. The president's words about all of us being in this together, as when a soldier puts a uniform on, it doesn't matter if he or she is black or white or democrat or republican or straight or gay (nice to hear)...I thought he really made a great point. By the time he finished the speech I was about an inch away from putting on my Betsy Ross costume from Halloween and marching down the street to the Boro building handing out little flags,

Fast forward to the Republican response. It made me feel just the opposite of what I'd felt only minutes before. By the time Mitch Daniels wrapped up I was ready to crawl under the bed with Woof and cover my head. Man.....what a downer! His speech was scary...doomsday..."going over Niagara Falls"....just like Greece...brace yourself. The bright city on the hill didn't pay Duquesne Light....BE AFRAID !

After doing just a little research I noticed that Mitch Daniels was George W's budget director...no wonder he's so terrified. As good old half-governor Palin might have asked " How'd that go for ya? " Isn't the NFl after him too for his union busting ideas? His speech wasn't stupid....just scary....and depressing as hell.

Now in my work as a therapist, I see my job as one that requires support, and encouragement, and optimism. If I just sat with people and told them that things were looking dismal, that impending doom was the theme, and there wasn't much hope....they'd probably want their money back, and by Friday I'd be ready to hang myself. The president talked about uniting..being fair...mutual respect and confidence that we all have each other's backs.

He ended his speech with a message about the Navy Seals who tracked down Bin Laden...how they couldn't have charged up those dark stairways without taking care of each other and knowing that they were a team. No matter what your feelings are about him, I think we all realize that this President can speak.

John Boehner...speaker of the house...called the President's speech "pathetic" ...before he heard it.  I wish I had gone to bed before Mitch Daniels rolled out the doom and gloom.

A REAL SLEEPER OF A DEBATE

My Mom just told me that last night's debate was the 18th one this year. Really? I don't think I missed any of them....I mustn't actually have a life after all. I thought the one last night was a real sleeper. It took me a while to figure out what was making me dose off, then I realized that the audience was more like a group of relatives who don't actually remember each other in a funeral home. I heard Brian Williams say that he'd asked the audience to withhold their applause, but I didn't hear him say not to breathe.

In that tomb-like atmosphere, the energy seemed to be missing altogether, and what ensued was pretty dull. Seems to me that the whistles and catcalls and hisses and boos in previous debates helped to determine at least some peoples leanings towards one candidate or another. I've found these (18...yikes) debates to be really entertaining, but last night felt like an I LOVE LUCY rerun without the laugh track...and there really WAS a live audience there....I think.

Just when I think I've typed the dreaded Rick Santorum name for the last time, the guy makes my hair stand up again. Yesterday a woman at some town meeting began her question like this..." President Obama is a Muslim'.....and we know he has no legal right to hold the office of president...." Mr Santorum did not correct her in any way. When someone said something very similar to John McCain, he immediately set the person straight, and I respected him for doing so. Santorum...Mr Family Values...Mr Principles...Mr Character..Mr Truthfulness. If he was a Muslim, there would be nothing wrong with that, but he isn't, What if someone would say to Mr. S. " Mitt Romney is a homosexual...and has no legal right to be president"...nothing wrong with being a homosexual either...but he isn't. This hit the bottom of the barrel for me with Santorum...I thought.

When the questions got around to Iran...Santorum seemed to be the most trigger happy. This guy would intervene with the Terri Schaivo drama to try to keep her alive, but certainly sounds raring to go with bombing another country, taking out their air force and no doubt killing thousands of people. I'm sure there were some silent boos after that rant. At the same time I'd be ready to cheer when Ron Paul jumps all over these guys when they suggest yet another war.

They say that silence implies complicity...but last night seemed like a big waste of time. Woof had no interest in the debate from the get-go (she's a staunch democrat) and my partner lasted about fifteen minutes, then started to read a November issue of Good Housekeeping...interrupting every few minutes to suggest that I make a "pumpkin parfait" or a "double down chocolate cake". ( He started his diet yesterday)

"Whose sins you shall forgive....."

I've heard about more sins during the current GOP campaigns than I did in all my twelve years of Catholic education. JEEZE ! Newt's daughters from his first wife are out there trying to protect his third wife from things that his second wife is saying. Newt and one or the other of them used to meet at the Basilica of the Immaculate Conception to hook up while he was still married. Newt also brought back his version of the Inquisition as he charged after Bill Clinton for fooling around with Monica, while having a sinful affair himself.

Rick Santorum has already made every gay person in the world as well as anyone who likes any gay person in the world absolutely hate him, and still stands squeaky clean in that ugly gray sweater vest saying the word "family" about a million times in every sound bite. I'm SO sorry....but watching him and his family on Piers Morgan the other night...they just seemed unusual. Maybe it was the tale of bringing home the dead baby for the children to hold...(Mrs S. said that was so they could have a funeral Mass...but since when was it a requirement that the body of the deceased had to be brought home first?). Maybe the fact that Rick met his wife just after she ended her six year sinful relationship with an abortion doctor who was forty some years older than her...and who in fact had delivered her....No?....what about her own induced labor to save her life....kinda like a terminated pregnancy.?

Add to this the sad end of Joe Paterno's life. Sandusky certainly seems to have been the BIG sinner, but lots of people including Joe have been given their Penance.

Growing up a Catholic, we were always able to get off the hook by going to confession...and being sorry...and promising not to sin again. ( Of course we could always find the new assistant priest who didn;t speak very good english...or the old one who really couldn't hear ). I suppose adultery, murder, cheating, lying and God knows what else can also be forgiven, but hearing some of those pompous voices out there telling gay people, especially gay kids, that they are sinners, and somehow less equal human beings...kinda makes me wonder. Just whose sins are forgiven...and whose are retained.?

WRECKED CARS, EYE OPENERS, AND 3 WAYS

T' was no silent night here when the snow began to make our street look like a toboggan track, with two cars ramming into telephone poles within minutes of each other. By 7:00 we had police cars, tow trucks, salt trucks and utility people all over the place. While my partner snuggled in with Woof to watch "Steel Magnolias" ( and cry for the tenth time at least ), I opted once again to watch yet another GOP debate...I know enough by now to have a glass of wine with me for the duration. With Newt Gingrich's response to the very first question I nearly downed my Merlot like a shooter, and quickly forgot about the melee on the avenue outside. I guess people are right that one never knows what to expect from Newt...and I doubt that John King..the moderator would ever question that perception again. I think that question and response got the only standing ovation of the evening. Newt did of course say that wife # 2 was a liar.

The other surprise of the evening actually was about me. (Isn't everything? ). I actually felt myself listening to what my favorite homophobe had to say. Bless me Father for I have sinned, but Rick Santorum isn't stupid. If he wasn't such a hateful hater of equal rights for gay people, he might actually not be so bad...but then again there's all that stuff about the FAMILY and women staying home...and not having rights over their own bodies and health to. In spite of the possibility of having my gay card revoked, I actually found myself thinking that he made sense on quite a few issues. I imagine most of my audience is about ready to hit the delete tab....but hold on just a minute. I would never support or vote for this man under any circumstances, but I was really surprised at myself for not feeling queasy as soon as he opened his mouth. He is a terrible bigot...has done a great deal of harm to young gay kids...and will soon be gone. He could have taken a different road...enough about him. By Monday I'll be ready to puke again when I hear his name.

Yesterday for the first time (I think) I heard the words "Open Relationship" referring to a straight marriage. I'm sure I'm just a bit naive about that, but outside of the gay community I've just never heard that. Seems to me that Mrs Gingrich 2 was actually describing a three way....which we've ALL heard about. Her explosive comments sure did make the news, and added to a rollicking atmosphere around here last night....maybe "Steel Magnolias" would have been a more soothing choice.

WHAT I THINK MITT ROMNEY LACKS

I keep trying to figure out just what it is about Mitt Romney that makes me not like him. I had decided a few years ago that it was because of the dog on the roof of the car issue, but even if that wasn't a factor, I've still felt a real cold feeling about this guy. He's made some comments lately that are certainly big turn offs...like his off the cuff offer to make a ten thousand dollar bet, or that he "likes to fire people", or that the three hundred thousand dollars that he received for speaking was "not very much". Even his admission that his tax rate is 15% didn't explain my empty feeling about the guy. I know he's never been the golden boy for even his own party, but I've still been grappling with my own sense about Mr R.

It dawned on me the other day when a guy and his wife stopped in for a quick visit on their way back home to Philly after a family event here in Pittsburgh. I hadn't seen him for years and years, and had never met his wife. The minute she walked in the front door, I liked her. I knew very little about her actually, and in reality I still don't....but I liked her immediately. I got to thinking about it after they left...after one glass of wine...and maybe forty-five minutes together. She was so "real" so "up-front" so "honest" so "open" that I could hardly wait to make plans to get together more often. Her husband and I met in grade school, and have been long distance friends ever since, and I could tell they had a great life together, and last year lost their daughter just after she had give birth to their first grandchild. We all had tears in our eyes when she talked about how devastating that was, but her own strength and openness about it was also astounding.

Sorry......to my point. I realized that what I think causes me to like certain people so much and so quickly is their authenticity. My friends wife was absolutely transparent with her feelings and emotions...you know..what you see is what you get...Mitt Romney doesn't seem authentic to me. I don't trust that what he says is what he really believes. Nothing about him seems real. As much as I can't stomach Rick Santorum...I know he actually believes the homophobic and ridiculous things that he says...so does Ron Paul.......They are at least real. ( That is probably as close as I'll ever be to saying something positive about Rick Santorum )...I promise never to do it again.

I read once that a survey of people that focused on people who live a " rich life"....not monetarily, but a rich life in terms of meaning and fulfillment came up with the top three things that provided richness. They were 1. Relationships 2. Authenticity 3. Creativity. Mr Romney, in my opinion, is sorely lacking on # 2.

FEROCIOUS SOUTH CAROLINA MOBS

Pittsburghers have traditionally flocked to Myrtle Beach. I've been there with my family, and once we found a nice spot away from the more honky tonk boardwalk area, I kinda liked it down there. The ocean was warm, the rates were decent, and there were plenty of good restaurants and the locals seemed nice enough. Watching the GOP debate from there the other night made me stop and think about that friendly little summertime escape. That crowd was SCARY ! Newt Gingrich's exchange with the only black person in sight gave me the creeps. When Juan Williams (from FOX no less) called Newt out about his comments about black people and insensitivity, the crowd sounded like they were about to storm the stage...booing Mr Williams for the question, and cheering for Newt when he gave a condescending response. Later when Ron Paul just happened to mention the GOLDEN RULE as perhaps being a way to think about our fellow human beings, he was also booed. Now I wouldn't vote for either one of these guys, but I still respect their right to speak...(except for Rick Santorum..whom I think ought to be hog tied during any public forum..) just kidding. AHEM.

My partner would rather put pins in his eyes than watch a GOP debate...or more than 20 minutes of the news actually. While I listen to Rachel on MSNBC he's usually deep into a Bette Davis movie or an episode of The Golden Girls, but I've found these debates fascinating as well as disturbing. When the gay soldier was booed early on, I was sure that one of the candidates would perhaps chastise the audience, but when the hypothetical dying man with no insurance was mentioned and some people in the crowd yelled " let him die"...I really felt a bit of a chill down my spine.

Jon Hunstman seemed to be a man who'd be capable of running the country...but his ability to at least acknowledge the divisive nature of the current political scene wasn't welcome at all. I wouldn't vote for any of these candidates...I think they're all too flawed. I'd also be hesitant to face a South Carolina crowd like that one the other night...especially if I was black...or poor...or preached the Golden Rule...or was gay...(OH MY GOD ! ) Even if I was a Navy Seal they might run me out of town with torches and pitchforks.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END ?

I think perhaps it's about to begin. In a recent address to 180 foreign diplomats, the Pope once again warned humanity against the threat that people like my partner and I are posing to the entire universe. With the recent appointment of New York Archbishop Dolan to the office of Cardinal of the church, it seems like the big guns are about to be brought out...to defend the whole world. Jolly Old Cardinal Dolan sent a letter to the president in the Fall letting him know that he should be supporting an amendment to the constitution for a ban on gay marriage. ( Remember when George W came out like a cuckoo and called for just such an amendment...then flew back into his office 20 seconds later? ).

My Roman Catholic Church of course teaches that homosexual "tendencies" are not sinful, but homosexual "acts" are, and that kinda confuses me. I asked some of my straight friends recently if they had heterosexual tendencies...and after exchanging looks with one another, they all said no. They're just heterosexuals. Now I have lots of tendencies that I guess I ought to think about, but being attracted to men rather than women isn't one of them. ( I have bigger fish to fry....like that third glass of wine after work ).

I'm also concerned about my tendency to want to jump through our television screen during a GOP debate, or when one of those...."when the moment is right" commercials comes on. ( Seriously..FOUR hours? ).

My partner and I are thus beginning to make good on the threats to society. We began the week with a Mass for racial tolerance at the Cathedral, followed by a family dinner that included my newly married niece and her husband, my brother and his wife, my 17 year old nephew, and my Mom. The tension that my partner and I have created for over 30 years now was as palpable as ever. It's actually sad to see how much of a threat we continue to pose to even to our own family. If the two of us simply had "tendencies", maybe the family could relax, but alas...they suspect that now and then we ACT, and thus jeopardize all of their very existences. The fact that my family is actually able to enjoy a turkey dinner together with such doom and destruction lurking just around the corner (maybe over near the wine bottle?) is just amazing.

All we're doing now is waiting to see just how this destruction will ensue...my nephew has a theory that it will actually begin with some sort of a plague....maybe stinkbugs?

THOUGHTS ABOUT RACISM

I began my career as a special education teacher in California when I was fresh out of Duquesne. I wrote a letter to the Los Angeles city schools requesting a job application, and received instead a contract as a response....no interview....no references.....but a school district desperate for male special ed teachers. I was assigned to Ninth Street School...in downtown Los Angeles. I drove my VW bug across the country and arrived just two days before school was to begin. When I got there I went straight to the school, and introduced myself and was welcomed as the new music teacher. I quickly responded that there must have been some mistake because I had no background in music education....and they then asked if I could play the piano...(which I can....especially if I've had a glass of wine or two...and my audience is ready for some old Irish tunes ). Evidently that was more than anyone else on the staff could do, and the die was cast.

Our school was a pilot project for "trainable mentally retarded" kids from 12 to 18 years old. The idea was to have the kids change classes, and model any other high school environment. Easier said than done.

Mass confusion reigned ! Almost everything was new to me, and even newer to the children, and I had no idea how I would handle the job, no curriculum guide, little supervision....but a big imagination. While at Duquesne, my fraternity would team up with a sorority for the Fall carnival, and we'd put on a musical, while five or six other groups would do same...in large tents on the campus. I conceived an idea to rewrite those shows for the kids I was teaching, and thus my students began rehearsals and learned songs from

Broadway

During this time I met the wood shop teacher and his assistant who was a fabulous artist. We became quick friends...pulled our talents, constructing sets.painting them, and lured costume makers and musicians for our big productions. Our shows ( two a year ) were smashes....two nights, full houses, big wigs from the board, and applause for the kids that I'm sure they've never forgotten.

I wanted to write a piece today about racism....how we three "producers" were different colors, and how the kids were black white and hispanic, and how it didn't matter. The fact that I got to the end of this long tale without mentioning our colors seems to actually make my point. The kids were all just the kids...and my lifelong friendships with the carpenter and the artist mean the world to me. I guess the content of our characters easily trumped the color of our respective skins.

WHEN GOOD PEOPLE DO BAD THINGS

You know what......in spite of all the outrage about US soldiers desecrating the bodies of enemy soldiers...I have a different take on the whole matter. Why the hell is this country still engaged in this hopeless tragic war effort.....after ELEVEN years? These young people who are still being sent to this God-forsaken country must be battling their worst demons and their darkest selves. All you have to do is watch the national news and see the frustration of our soldiers who are dealing endlessly with Afghan army desertions, betrayals, and hopeless "missions". There was an article recently about how one of the biggest fears that the soldiers have is about the IED's that are specifically designed to destroy or seriously injure the genitals.

These men and women have watched their friends blown to bits, sent home in body bags, or mentally injured for the rest of their lives. While support for this war is ever dwindling among the folks back home...the battle rages on and on....for a corrupt government and for unrealistic goals. These men and women who are sent back to this awful part of the world are obviously doing things that they probably never imagined doing.

The outrage over the abuse of a corpse...any corpse is disgusting and revolting, but I think this war..this eleven year adventure is destroying thousands of people every year. I don't in any way condone what these soldiers appear to have done, but I am able to understand it. We're turning good people with good intentions into monsters, and our silence about ending this war implies complicity.

NO MITT FOR ME

My Achilles heel has always involved animals. When the local news features a story about animal abuse I either cover my ears and close my eyes or turn the television off and wonder again why I don't always watch Jon Stewart at 11:000. The story about Mitt Romney traveling for twelve hours with the family dog on the roof of the car twenty years ago has re-surfaced again, and once again I'd wouldn't want anything to do with someone who would do that. The story is obviously true since the latest description of the container that the dog was in is being described by Romney himself as a "kennel". Give me a break. Last year my family drove from Pittsburgh to Jacksonville and I worried about Woof more than I worried about my Mother on the trip. We stopped overnight twice (MOSTLY for my Mom), and ever few hours for Woof as well. Now Woof had most of the back seat, with a lap to rest her head, and was only four years old.

The account of the Romney's with their dog on the roof also includes the stress on their Dog, which caused the dog to have diarrhea which the kids saw running down the back window. Mr Romney stopped at a gas station and hosed off the car and the dog...then continued on the trip to Ontario. I don't care if the dog had a state of the art "wind shield", or was in some kind of a kennel or a typical crate. I have no respect for someone who would do that. I don't care how long ago it was either. Tell me about Romney's "BAIN" problems....or his silver spoon..or his views on anything at all. I don't like him and would never support him for just this one reason. Michael Vick is a great athlete, but I can't stand to hear his name. Same goes for you Mr. Romney.

CHURCHES DON'T WELCOME MENTAL HEALTH

I had a conversation with a friend the other day about a woman she met and ended up discussing gay issues...and the woman's Fundamentalist church. My friend has been socializing with my partner and me for at least twenty years, and she loves us both...always hopes we'll finally have a wedding. The woman told her that her church believes that homosexuality is "an inclination that has to be fought". That got me to thinking about the whole issue again, especially in regard to my own Catholic church. I think being gay isn't an inclination that I have, it's who I am. I love women, I love being with them and having them in my closest circle of people...I love how they think, how they view the world etc etc etc...but I'm not sexually attracted to women. I have an inclination to write..or to work in my garden...or travel...or read...or hang around with Woof, but I'm not simply "inclined" to be gay. Why would I want to fight who I am? That's a twisted concept.

I know that the Vatican call's homosexuality an "intrinsic disorder". I of course don't see it as any sort of a disorder....that implies an unhealthy personality. ( The AMA and DSM disagree with the Church as well.)

Now we've all heard "love the sinner...but hate the sin"...and my church says that being homosexual is alright...but any homosexual acts are sinful. So a celibate homosexual is acceptable. No Thanks...not me. Now of course there is more than one Mr Michelle Bachman out there trying to make homosexuals into heterosexuals, and the damage that causes is just astounding. Ain't gonna happen. If you are reading this blog, you are either heterosexual or homosexual (or bi sexual), can YOU imagine a big switcheroo?

While the archbishop of LA just resigned because he has two kids, a local priest is enroute to jail for child pornography , priestly pedophiles have damaged the church, Fundamentalist preachers get caught paying hustlers, jeeeeeze.

There are many many very good, very healthy, well adjusted people who are not welcome in many churches...because they're not either fighting themselves or because they have fallen in love and want to spend their life with another person. The Bishop in Minnesota who has added a prayer to the liturgy that begs God to prevent same sex marriages might well consider something a little healthier to sweep across those cold cities.

A Gardener in January

January and February are rough months for me....although Woof and I are often able to cuddle up together on the back porch even if there's just a brief burst of sunshine. My Aunt Katie used to swear that the"January sun" was the first sign of an approaching Spring. This winter has been really different...more like an extended and kinda nice long Autumn. While I'm usually in bed early with the latest seed catalog by now, instead I've been out without a jacket quite a few times cleaning up my potting bench and even propping open the door to my little backyard greenhouse.

Yesterday I was amazed to see a blue and a yellow primrose blooming in the garden. All the supermarkets and box stores always replace the poinsettias in January with those beautiful vivid little primroses, and I finally figured out how to keep them for more than a week or two. They like the cold, not freezing cold, but very chilly. So while the logical place for such brilliant little flowers would seem to be a sunny windowsill, they'd much prefer a colder but bright spot. Mine seem to bloom forever on the floor of my greenhouse where it's really only about 40 degrees for most of the winter. The ones I planted in the garden after enjoying them all winter really brightened my spirits this week.

Now if Phipps would just move the opening date of the Spring Flower show to about February 1, I might actually be able to keep my spirits up in spite of what happens in the next few weeks. Usually by the time the show opens around Easter, my own daffodils and tulips are also blooming. I could use a dose of Spring much sooner than the beginning of April. For now Woof and I will just focus on those two little determined primroses, and soak up every available ounce of that January sun.

RICK SANTORUM.....JUST A REGULAR GUY

There is quite a bit being written lately about Rick Santorum. I have certainly been writing my fair share for a good while...because as a gay man in a 30 year relationship. people who say things that are hurtful to me or to others like me are going to get a response. As Mr Santorum has suddenly forced Newt out of the spotlight, he has also been much more scrutinized by the media than he was when he was at the bottom of the heap...where Michelle Bachmann eventually landed. I hate his views on gay people, contraception, his "jobs" plans etc etc etc, but his experience and actions after the still birth of a child just...seem first of all sad and tragic, and then just strange and unhealthy. He recently spoke about his deceased grandfather and in addition to how long and hard he worked, he spoke of seeing him in his casket. Mr Santorum was a young child....says he was only tall enough to see his grandfathers large hands, but it certainly seems to be a vivid memory for him.

My German-Irish family traditions almost always include a "viewing" of the deceased, and I also have a vivid memory of seeing my grandmother in her casket when I was about eight years old. Since then I've probably been to hundreds of funeral homes and seen an equal number of both young and old corpses lying in repose, but you know I still remember that very first time....seeing my grandmother. I can "feel" some of what that experience was for me...people crying whom I'd never seen cry before, the hushed voices, the smell of all those flowers, and the odd beautiful woman whom I'd loved very much...looking at peace finally after an awful and painfully long death from gangrene.

Bringing the body of a dead baby home might certainly be an "acceptable" expression of grief for the mother and father...albeit unusual, but what about the kids? There is very little doubt in my mind that everyone of them has a vivid memory of that experience. I of course have no idea of what went on in that household that tragic night, but it is certainly beyond my experience, and the experience of anyone I know...including relatives who also suffered from a still born birth of a child.

Rick Santorum is UNUSUAL. While he rails against those who are different from him (ie ME! ) and almost screeches about abortion....(wasn't his awful experience with all of the above actually a procedure to save his wife's life? )...He's so extreme in his views...saying today that " Jesus" should be a part of the presidency...(sorry atheists and jews)...or that comment about black people that he's trying to retract...oh well.

This is not a normal guy.

BUTCHING IT UP

I like football games...mostly when we're on a winning streak, and although I'd rather have upholstery tacks pressed into my gums than actually GO to a game, I can yell and jump around the living room during the Superbowl. I used to like to hear a baseball game on the radio as well, but I think that was mostly because I associated it with warm summer evenings. Hockey..not so much, but I like Sidney, though watching a game hurts my eyes...like following a tennis ball back and forth hurts my neck. About all I know about basketball is that it's fun to watch the Globetrotters. Of course as a gay guy, I love the diving and swimming at the Olympics ( that's just a given ).

Now there was a great line from Karen on WILL AND GRACE when someone tossed some keys to Jack, and he missed them and Karen said to Grace " They don't catch." That about sums up my abilities or lack there of when it comes to any object thrown in my direction. I never liked tennis or even badmitten because inevitably someone tosses you a ball, or I think it's called a "birdie" or something like that. When I was growing up my Dad traveled to New York a lot on business, and over the years would bring back two baseball mitts...really good ones he said, and would regularly invite me out to the backyard to catch. I still remember those dreaded words, and the feeling that I'd just been invited to feel like I might either faint or suffer a 10 year old's massive heart attack with every ball that eluded me...and most of them did. My Dad never lost patience however, and also never suggested that I try out for Little League. ( watching me on the diamond might have required CPR for both of us.

In our Catholic grade school, we never had a gym....just "recess" where we'd run around when we were little, then stand around when we were older. Entering High School, I thought my new gym outfit was pretty cool, but soon felt my spirits collapse and my heart begin to race when we were expected to play sports.

When I was order to play "right field" I didn't know if that meant my right or the coach's right (since we were facing each other). Football season came quickly and I was a nervous wreck as I stood in the Autumn wind with absolutely no idea of what I was supposed to be doing. Monday was gym day....first period, and after trying to be sick for about nine Mondays in a row, I finally escaped my terror by begging pleading and looking doe-eyed until I landed an early morning job "helping out" in the office. WHEW.

Now the funny thing is that I was also the co-editor of the Yearbook...writing all the sports pages. Honest.

I loved to write, and knew how that stuff was worded, and to this day it makes me chuckle. Two years ago I was asked to blog along with 7 other people for the Post Gazette...PG plus...on line. I've written almost two hundred blogs for them now, and as fate would have it, I'm on the sports page. I have no idea why, but my blog there has more than a six figure hit statistic. Only one other guy writes there who doesn't write about sports....but there he is...and there  I am. When I taught school I'd ask my sports-crazy sister in law for one insightful and clever comment to make about some current sport, then I'd sort of shout it out to all the other men in the teacher's lounge, and then eat my sandwich quietly while they marveled at my sports knowledge. Hey...a guy does what he has to do. GO STEELERS !

PREPARE FOR PRESIDENT SANTORUM !

Well I guess it's time that we all start to prepare for our next president...Rick Santorum. After his near win in Iowa yesterday, I've decided to re-think my own life, and prepare for a whole new world. My partner and I will of course end out thirty year relationship, which President Santorum will of course condemn. We all know that he compares homosexuality to pedophilia and beastiality, and we're both too old to be dragged through a Sandusky-like trial procedure. Mr Future president also said recently that he'd be prepared to invalidate all same sex marriages that have already been legalized. I know one lesbian couple who might present a problem for the next president's secret service...because they're both pretty tough cookies, and they spent a lot of money on the D.J. for their wedding reception last summer. All gay pride events will of course be canceled, rainbows forbidden, and no-one but Mr. Michelle Bachman would be allowed to flaunt any gay characteristics on TV. No more WILL AND GRACE reruns, no ELLEN show, but Mother Angelica and all TV evangelists who are not in prison would be given prime time slots.

Now dear straight readers, you will have your own adjustments to make. President Santorum does not accept ANY form of birth control. The president himself has 10 or 15 children ( not sure about this), and therefore has had sex (heterosexual) about once a year. With the central focus of traditional marriage being procreation...forget those sexy CIALIS ads, and if the moment is right....it better be right for a pregnancy too...get those outdoor bathtub scenes right out of your head.

Our new president will also be planning to make all abortions illegal. Women will of course continue to have them, and all the back alley doctors who will discreetly crank up their practices might actually help the economy. Mr President will undoubtedly see life as beginning with a fertilized egg...so any couples interested in In vitro procedures will be flirting with prison sentences for murder. It seems logical also that anyone who has an abortion, has had one in the past, or has been an "accomplice" to one will be guilty of homicide...and presumably sentenced to death or a lengthy prison term.

Recently, Ricky (oops...Mr Santorum) made some weird comments about welfare....that he doesn't think white people ought to be paying for black people via Welfare...but that was probably just a musing by Rick since there are far more white folks on Welfare than black folks...but maybe he even has a few new amazing theories about that. Better wait until he's sworn in.

Lastly, as we prepare for some major lifestyle changes with a brand spanking new President, we'd best prepare ourselves for the next invasion of a country that hasn't done anything to us...but might. Back to that "preemptive" war stuff that we learned all to well about with Iraq. Mr Santorum has made it clear that he's ready to bomb Iran's nuclear sights. ( sometimes "pro-life" ) is misunderstood...eggs are people...and "collateral damage" is ...is...not people. Huh?

All in all...I'm planning to leave my partner, encourage our 14 year old neighbor who was raped on New Years Eve to have her baby, marry a woman and have 20 or 30 kids, get a couple of guns, smile when they take away my long time disabled black friend's food stamps, and prepare to send by 18 year old nephew to a new war in Iran. HAIL TO THE CHIEF !!!!!!!

BUSH, CHENEY,AND RUMSFIELD OUGHT TO BE TRIED!

Maybe 2012 will be the year when justice is served to several people who have never been brought to trial. There are at least three people who are absolutely guilty of very serious crimes against humanity. Together they have destroyed families, killed innocent people, ruined the dreams of thousands of children, and lied about what they were actually doing.

These three were able to start this murderous adventure by bypassing congress and convincing many Americans that our own country might suffer a deadly nuclear attack unless we attacked a sovereign country that was linked to the attacks on 9-11.

These three were able to convince far too many young Americans that their country needed them to avenge the destruction caused by Osama Bin Laden by fighting an insurgency in Iraq. Many of those young people came back home in coffins, while thousands of others have horrendous injuries both physical and mental.

Nearly seventy percent of Americans say this war wasn't worth the cost in lives or in money....but it happened...and it could happen again. While Bush, Cheney and Rumsfield travel the country speaking and promoting their books, countless families either struggle every day to "recover" from what these three orchestrated, or they visit a grave. I think they need to answer more than a few questions, and perhaps their answers would bring a sense of justice for 67 percent of us....and maybe land the three of them where they belong.