Thursday, March 22, 2012

BABY DOLLS, UNIFORMS, AND BAD APPLES

When I was six years old I really wanted a baby doll...a black one. My friend Susie had one although she was white as were all the other kids in our neighborhood. Susie was progressive and I was confused. I remember thinking that I shouldn't really want a doll...and I'm not sure if I ever actually asked Santa or the Easter Bunny for one....but I never got one, so we had to share. Susie's Dad was a doctor so she always seemed to get extravagant toys...like a really big dollhouse that we played with for hours. Our other friend Billy was into more normal boy things...cowboys and Indians and holsters and guns. Every picture of him shows him with some wild west outfit on while Susie and I look like the Bobsy twins. On Halloween we dressed like tigers with big long tails and Billy was a monster.
Since I was a Catholic and Susie and Billy were pagans, we went to different schools. On my first day I stood in the playground in my little gray coat holding my Mom's hand while we waited for the bell to ring. One of the nuns who looked to be about nine feet tall came over and began gathering us first graders together and I very reluctantly released my Mother's hand and was taken away to the gallows. To my surprise my own teacher Sister Theckla was much prettier and nicer that her name was, but I was horrified to learn that we were expected to come to school every day. I thought it would be more of a short term commitment.
Philip Slatbridge sat in the first row and was trouble for all of us from the get go. When Sister would tell us to color the apples red, Philip would make them black. Anytime I glanced at his desk he'd just be scribbling all over his paper as I strolled up the aisle with my perfectly colored circles and squares. I was distraught to learn that Philip and I were thrown together at the same bus stop at 3:00, and since I looked so much like Little Lord Fauntleroy in my little gray coat (with matching cap of course) he naturally picked on me. I tell people that he beat me up every day in first grade but I think he probably just pushed me around a lot. I still dream about tracking him down and killing him. (not really),
well...maybe kinda really. I actually told my parents that the nuns used to trap him in the office with yard sticks and take turns beating him. Maybe they did.
My parents were baffled by many things about me (duh!) especially my refusal to go to school without my gray coat and hat. Around this time of year it was warming up and I still insisted on my little uniform. When it got to be around 80 degrees and I was still bundling up we had a show down. After a major inquisition I provided my explanation. At the end of each day, Sister Theckla would say " You may go to the cloakroom now and get your wraps and then you can line up to go home". I interpreted that to mean...have a "wrap" or you stay here. My gray coat was my ticket out. It took a great deal of convincing for me to arrive without my green card...but it sure felt a lot cooler as I rushed home to change our shared baby doll and rearrange the dollhouse. This school thing really interfered with my very busy schedule. More about that later.

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