Dear Ricky
I've been more than a little concerned about some of the
things that you've been saying lately and I've decided that you might just need
a little guidance and clarification. First of all sweetie, I didn't actually
choose you to run for president as your wife has suggested. I rarely do things
like that after I got burned on the Sarah Palin thing....after that I decided
not to play favorites.
Honey, lots of people really like to have sex, and they don't
always want to have a baby. Now you've tried it seven times so far, and produced
quite a brood...but not everybody wants to do that, you have to be a little more
tolerant and not so afraid of sex. You kinda scared me when you talked about my
gay creations too....I love them ! Just because they make fun of your little
sweater vest, and didn't invite you to the last Cher concert, you're all wrong
about them. Love is love, please think about that.
When they do want to be more like you and get married, that's
a real compliment...you know the imitation and flattery quote. You've got to
lighten up about that babe.
Why would you want to throw up when you read about
separating the church and the state? I want NOTHING to do with your politics
Richard...NOTHING! Please I beg you leave me out of that mess!
Honey, now about Iran. You're not reading the Bible again.
You Catholics just never seem to do that much. There are families just like
yours who would be hurt and even killed if you start a war...I hate the words
"collateral damage"..and you need to think about that buster.
Basically Ricky, honey, you aren't going to be Mr
President...you're just not the right guy. You need to do some work on
yourself...maybe get some therapy...and revisit some of your....I hate to say
..."whacky ideas". Frankly you embarrass me. I want you to go home, pay your
fair taxes in Penn Hills (need I say more?) and take one of those little yellow
pills and rest. All the crazy thoughts will eventually go away, and maybe one
day you'll be a normal person. Good night sweetie.
GOD
This is brilliant! I will forward to any and all of my friends and family who will then, in turn, post it to their FB pages and hopefully our whole happy world of "The Enlightened Ones" will have a moment of peace and serenity at Mr. Santorum's expense.
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